i was wrong…

and somewhere out there, all my exes (and perhaps my current) are singing “hallelujah,” stretching their arms to the point of dislocation while holding up their margaritas, daiquiris and martinis.

it’s tough to admit.

it happens so rarely. (that’s a huge exaggeration)

but it’s true.

the majority of the images i’ve made in the past have been attempts at showing you a representational image - doing my best to re-create the scene as closely as I could to how I saw it. and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.

the joy i get in nature is not to get to some vista - it’s to find something all those others pass by without noticing, and making it beautiful.

then i started reading guy tal’s book more than a rock. guy begins by explaining what art is, what an artist is, and how it applies to photography. it was really eye opening stuff - stuff that made me do some soul searching, because as it was, i was not expressing myself artistically through my representational images.

i realized i need to answer some questions. do i want to express myself artistically through my photographs? the answer is yes. in fact, for an introvert such as myself, who doesn’t enjoy conversing with people or expressing myself vocally, i’ve discovered i actually need to express myself in some manner. my alcoholism recovery has helped reinforce that notion. and i’ve not found a more fulfilling method to express myself other than photography. another question - why do i enjoy turning my color images to black and white so much? the honest answer is and has been, because i have felt more freedom to use expressive creativity when creating black and white images. the world is not seen in black and white, so i’ve always taken more creative liberties in creating the black and white worlds in those images. those “trophy landscape” images i used to enjoy making, thrill me less and less with each click of the shutter. they are the near absolute definition of non-expression for me - lining up along twenty other photographers or taking an image with a composition photographed millions of times before, as proven by a quick stroll through social media. i’ve hiked with a purpose to “get there” foregoing stopping occasionally to look around, and i’ve never once found that i’ve enjoyed one of those hikes. the joy i get in nature is not to get to some vista - it’s to find something all those others pass by without noticing, and making it beautiful. it’s a much more expressive form of photography for me. i find it results in far more unique images. it just suits me and my thoughts right now on what i want my photography to be.

and that is what i’ve discovered in this time of soul searching - i want, dare I say, I need my photos to be fulfilling to me.

while i haven’t posted many new images of late, i likely will in the near future. and as i do, you may notice a change in the images. you may hate them, strongly dislike them, or not really care about them. you may also not notice the difference. i fully expect a few fewer fans as these new images will not necessarily be as palpable to the general public. i hope they’ll be extremely meaningful to a few, but even if they’re not, they’ll say more, while saying more about me and being more expressive. they’ll fulfill me more, and that is what i’ve discovered in this time of soul searching - i want, dare I say, I need my photos to be fulfilling to me.

you won’t find me swapping out skies, adding items that weren’t in the image or the scene originally, but you will see more expression through my images - particularly my color images. you’ll still see images that reflect a realistic scene, although it won’t reflect the way i saw the scene. instead i’ll be attempting to show you the scene as it made me feel at the moment the shutter snapped. you know, expressing myself more than merely through composition, focal length choice and shutter speed. it turns out i’d been missing out on fully expressing myself. and i’m finding my latest work to be the most fulfilling. it just so happens that i needed guy tal to give me permission to not have to show the viewer the scene as i saw it. for some reason that was a mental block for me, that’s now been broken wide open.

so i guess i’m happy to say i was wrong.